Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind
The only way to erase Joel (Vin Diesel) and Clementine's (Angelina Jolie) memories involves recreating them into cyborgs. However, a chance meeting in the future reconfigures their wiring and causes them to fight each other to the death. In the process, it's revealed that the doctors have given them a lot of cool shit like guns for hands, eyeball rocket launchers, jet pack feet and flame thrower breasts. At the end, with their memories restored, they discover that they have been through this process over and over again, ensuring several sequels and maybe a SyFy television series when all interests has been sucked dry.
The events of the original script are condensed to a five minute montage. With Jenny's life nearing an end at the hands of cancer, Forrest (Ben Affleck) must find a cure on planet Mars. But he can't do it alone. With the help of his friends Lieutenant Dan (Nicholas Cage), a living Bubba (The Rock), the lady who tasted like cigarettes (Uhhhh... Megan Fox?) and a John F. Kennedy (CGI, of course), Forrest steals a spaceship from NASA, flies to Mars and defeats an entire evil alien race to capture a vile of magic cancer-healing potion.
Jules (Will Smith) and Vincent (Martin Lawrence) are two bad boy criminals. Their day starts out like any other, but once they hit the diner, shit gets real when Jules' wallet is stolen from him. In an effort to rescue his wallet from the evil Marsellus Wallace (who, for some reason, carries a delicious sandwich in his briefcase for lunch every day), Jules and Vincent encounter and fight a samurai sword-swinging boxing kangaroo, a robot gimp that turns into a motorcycle, a wolfman and Christopher Walken.
Bruce Willis voices WALL-E. EVE is evil. A bunch of shit blows up for three hours. America pays $800 million to watch it.